It has taken me over seven years to start accepting the fact that as a mom, I can and will make mistakes. A lot of them.
When I first became a mom I thought I was prepared. I read the baby books, attended all the classes my hospital offered, researched every topic, and took copious notes from veteran moms giving me pointers about baby gear and sleep training.
And then my son arrived.
I had the book smarts but definitely not the street smarts to be walking the streets of motherhood. This was one hood that I didn’t feel like I belonged in.
I found that I had no clue what I was doing. The baby sleep schedules and breastfeeding techniques that I thought would come so naturally to me, all ended up making me feel like a failure. I can’t even begin to describe what six months of potty training did to my mommy self-esteem.
But I’ve been give second chances along the way and the peace of mind that each mistake was just a stepping stone on my journey through motherhood.
After my first failed attempt at motherhood, I became a mom again with the birth of two more children. I was relieved to have a fresh start and a chance to redo things. Knowing this, I relaxed a bit. I let my baby sleep on my chest with less guilt that I might be creating a terrible sleeper. I felt more accepting of the fact that the formula I gave all three of my boys was not interfering with my ability to bond with them, and I felt more comfortable turning on the TV so I could get a break, knowing that I wasn’t actually rotting my kid’s brain.
And potty training again?… Well, round two went much smoother. I tossed the books out the window and silenced the voices in my head telling me that each accident was my fault. I realized that I had put so much pressure on myself to have my first son potty trained at 21-months not because it felt right for us, but because a book and witnessing other moms made me feel like that was what I had to do. So, when it was time for my second son to start the dreaded potty training phase, I waited. I waited until my son was ready, but I also waited until I was ready.
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Learning and growing from our mistakes is what makes us moms. Just as our children are learning to crawl, walk and run, we are learning how to be moms through baby steps as well.
Give yourself grace. You aren’t doing anything wrong. Your mistakes are just chances to do things differently the next time.
Each mistake is a stepping stone on your journey through motherhood.
